Beloved political opportunist and lobbyists’ BFF, Kyrsten Sinema (Ind – AZ), has finally seen the writing on the bathroom wall and decided to forego the chance to face her constituents in November. Having alienated the entire Democratic coalition that elected her and yet never winning over any Republicans, Sinema, ever the survivalist, likely realized she was going to get creamed by Ruben Gallego and Kari Lake in a run for re-election. In a video statement, Miss Thing blamed the partisan tone in Washington for her decision. “I believe in my approach, but it’s not what America wants right now,” she said, “Despite modernizing our infrastructure, ensuring clean water, delivering good jobs and safer communities, Americans still choose to retreat farther to their partisan corners.” Surprisingly Sinema did not mention the fact that she torpedoed ending the filibuster, blocked the federal minimum wage hike, obstructed the Build Back Better Act and has refused to hold a town hall or face her constituents for over three years as possible contributing factors to her sorry polling numbers. At press time, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) was reported to be high-fiving CNN reporter Manu Raju in the Senate coat room.
